supernatural-tardis:

i had a crush on this guy and i decided to pull a Pavlov on him by offering him whenever i saw him  this brand of candy he seemed to really like and after a while whenever he saw me he got excited for a second then you could see his expression shift to wondering the why the hell was he so happy to see me and i swear it was the evilest thing but also the most hilarious i made a guy like me by conditioning him into associating me to a candy he liked

(via thepoorgroomsbrideissoslutty)

  • Guy in my class: Sir, what if we had a gay P.E. teacher? That'd be bad because he'd be looking at all the guys in shorts.
  • Teacher: You're assuming that all gay teachers are pedophiles.
  • Guy: Well...yeah.
  • Teacher: Carl I absolutely promise you that NO ONE in this school wants to have sex with you

castiel-in-a-sherlocked-tardis:

sha-ka-brah:

the-11-doctor:

thisfuturemd:

brigwife:

image

Romanticized vs. Realistic

as a member of Scotland I can confirm

Canada Romanticized:

Canada Realistic:

OMG I CANT STOP LAUGHING AT THE GIF

(Source: british-v0gue, via natasha-roman0ff)

(Source: ridge, via aniah-lator)

i-learned-it-from-the-pizzaman:

So my teacher told us that two blue eyed people can’t have a brown eyed kid and this kid in my class said “but both my parents have blue eyes and I have brown eyes”.  The teacher said “so you’re adopted”.  THe next day the kid came in and told us that he confronted his parents about it and that they said he was adopted but wanted to wait for the right time to tell him.  

image

(Source: phd-in-awesome, via damnit-karen)

cloudywithachanceofpokey:

kittengrin:

Goddamn.  Smart woman for thinking of the “ordering a pizza” thing, and smart dispatcher for picking up on it.

I know this is a reblog and I have a separate blog for reblog nonsense but this isn’t nonsense. THIS IS EXTREMELY USEFUL and I wish so hard that I worlds had this knowledge two years ago.

I know that several of my followers have been and/or currently are in abusive relationships and I need to reblog this for them.

(Source: afro-thunder-knotting-it-up, via natasha-roman0ff)

"My lawyer gives the same speech to everyone who wants to do business with me now. ‘Nicki is not one of those artists who allow her representatives to make decisions for her.’ I’m on conference calls all day with lawyers, accountants, and executives—people of power—and they treat me with respect. Because I command respect. I’m not cocky, but I deserve to know what’s going on. It’s my brand and my life. That’s my advice to women in general: Even if you’re doing a nine-to-five job, treat yourself like a boss. Not arrogant, but be sure of what you want—and don’t allow people to run anything for you without your knowledge. You want everyone to know, Okay, I can’t play games with her. I have to do right by this woman. That’s what it’s all about."

Nicki Minaj, Elle, April 2013

Adding partial source(via andyhutchins)

hey, remember how White Feminists (TM) think nicki minaj is a terrible role model for young women?

remember how White Feminists (TM) are the actual worst?

(via joz-zy)

(Source: hrafnagaldr, via monstersunderthefuckingbed)

holdthebones:

whatwouldyoudoifthedoctor:

deathpup:

what happens if u put a werewolf on the moon is a great question probably the best question ever asked

he’ll explode and die because there’s no oxygen on the moon

We never said we’d send him up without a suit you absolute monster

(via aniah-lator)

aduhm:

conqueered:

zooeydeschannoying:

aduhm:

the TRUE gay icon

i want to see him and lohanthony fight to the death

honestly it’s kind of offensive to assume he’s gay

(via polkadotsandchevron)

wii-sport:

What does this say

(Source: bwwwssssshhhhhhhhh, via natasha-roman0ff)

bigeyesandstarrynights:

that was the best thing I have read in about 10 years.

(Source: best-of-memes, via thefuuuucomics)

austere-fallen-angel:

hermionemollycharliepond:

just-raowolf:

edenwolfie:

my year 8 students had to do a budgeting activity pretending they were living out of home on $2000 a month and I find this written on there help I can’t fucking breathe

We had to do this and I was partnered with a boy whose parents are a scientist and a doctor. My family spawned the book: Top Drawer Villain - autobiography of a London criminal.

First of all, we had to choose where we would shop. He wanted to buy from Booths. “We are not buying from Booths," I snapped. "Get on Asda’s website right now." His face froze.

A-Asda?" he whispered. "But that’s where… The Lower Classes shop.

This was a good start.

We then had to decide on a menu. We started on breakfast. “Toast," he said.

Toast," I said. "Great. Look, Asda has its own wholemeal—

Warburton’s thick-slice white bread. Nothing else. With olive oil.

You WHAT?" I choked. "You have olive oil, on your toast, in the morning?

He frowned. “Who doesn’t?

Okay," I said, "but what will the children eat?

He gaped at me. “The children? We have children?

We continued. All was well until it came to what we would have on our sandwiches. We even sorted out the children’s lunch - they, of course, would get free school meals. “Yes," he agreed; "if we can’t even afford Bertolli then they can get school meals on the government.

He asked what dressing we should have on our ham. “Nuh-uh," I said. "Can’t have ham. I’m vegetarian.

But I’m not.

Yes, but we’re married and we can only afford one sandwich filler so it has to be vege—

We’re married!?

Of course we’re married! You’re devout Christian - how do you think I convinced you to have children?

He shook his head, frowning. “Well I want ham. You’ll have to put back the washing powder - I need ham on my sandwiches.

We continued. Finally, it was dinner. “Okay," he said, clearly thinking hard; "for dinner, we can have… Chicken nuggets and… Beans?

Vegetarian.

Vegetarian nuggets then. And beans.

We need vegetables. The children have to have a balanced diet.

You and your children!" he yelled, and the whole class looked around.

They’re your children too!" I screamed back.

He leapt to his feet, shaking his head and looking distraught. “I don’t believe it - I don’t believe you! I wouldn’t have your children!

Please," I cried, standing up also. "Don’t—

I want a divorce!

And he walked out of the classroom.

The teacher stood up and stared between me and the door through which he had vanished. “I’m sorry," I whispered, "but we couldn’t do it any more. There were just too many differences - I can’t live with someone who thinks champagne is a budget.

I can’t wait to see this guy when he gets to university.

READ THE WHOLE THING

SOOO WORTH IT

(via natasha-roman0ff)

jasjuliet:

magnificent-bbc-bastards:

This is the cutest thing OMG

HIS SHIRT READS, “I’M NOT SHORT, I’M JUST FUN-SIZED.”

(Source: ForGIFs.com, via natasha-roman0ff)